the mentioning of words that seems christian-like, does not equate to a spiritual-well believer.

thoughts and intentions that are stirred by my emotions, once again, caused me to see how sinful i am.
even the best deed that i can do, can turn into a sinful act.

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! "

Romans 7:24-25

is it because sin has entered this world, hence it is inevitable that we will meet with some kind of 遗憾?

trying to understand the emotions that I'm going through now.

I have moved on a few chapters. I'm now on the chapter of "The Discipline of Commitment". (Yes, I'm still on the book discipline of grace. :)

"If we ourselves hope to make any progress in the pursuit of holiness, commitment is absolutely essential. One reason we do not see more progress in holiness in ou lives is because we have, fr the most part, lost sight of the necessity of commitment."

I usually come across this word "commitment" when I talks about whether to take up a project, ministry or simply get involve in some form of activities. Recently, in the OBS trip which happened in early June, I came across this word in a very different angle.

If you have been to OBS, you will know there's this Jetty Jump. You are suppose to walk out of that plank on your own and jump off into the sea. Here's a picture of me jumping to show you how scared I was!

Anyway the point is not my picture, so I was really scared, I think I took really long just to jump because I was walking so slowly out to the edge. Ok, maybe not walking, im basically shuffling to the edge. haha. so I jumped and yeah! happy that I conquered. After the whole episode, I asked the instructor what's the secret to do the jetty jump? Cuz I'm so scared just now, I'm very eager to find out how to overcome this fear that I have and he simply just said " Commitment". What he said caused me to ponder. However, I didn't come out with any "enlightement", till i read this.

I fear to jump, cuz of many reasons , afraid of heights is my main reason, then imagine things like accidents, get drown etc. Despite the many different fears I may have, what will push me to jump is the idea of commitment, to be willing to commit to whatever may befalls. in other words, willing to give yourself to whatever things that will happen next. To me, commiting myself to a "question mark" (cuz i don't know what will happen what, so is a question mark) blows my mind, or I should say I already know of a very certain hope that I have that is found in Jesus Christ, so I simply just say I commit myself to you Lord, at the point of jumping.

This experience helps me to relate with commitments to ministries. I fear that I do not have enought time, cant juggle, cant do the job well etc. True, I do not know whatever that is ahead when I commit,but the comforing things is there's a Holy Spirit who lives in me. There's a God that I can trust. There's a Holy Spirit that will enable me.

P.S Having said this does not mean I must commit everything that comes my way, I have to be prayerful about it.

I have only just started reading on the chapter. will refine on what I'm thinking again.

whole day meeting in school tmr! goodnight! :)

I'm here to blog!
finally :)

just wanna share abt what I read recently from the book: The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges.

Cruise Control Obedience:

"Just like the cruise control that some cars have, you accelerate to your desired speed, push the cruise-control button, and take your foot from the accelerator pedal. then you can ease back and relax a little, no longer have to experience the fatigue that comes with constant foot pressure on the accelerator" --> convenient.

This illustration given by the author is that he wants to illustrate how often we, the follower of Christ, "have arrived at a comfortable level of obedience, we push the" cruise control" button in our hearts, ease back and relax. "

What is a comfortable level of obedience?
"This level is most often determined by the behaviour standard of other Christians around us. We don't want to lag behind them, nor we are eager to forge ahead of them because we won't want to be different."

"We love to blend in with the level of obedience of those aound us."

Do I have the courage NO to blend?
If God wants to lead me further, do i say NO, NO, i'm fine here.

I am reminded once again to be focus, who's the master of my life.
once again, i'm reminded about the passion I ought to have in following Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour.