I had my 2.4km yesterday ! and i passed it !!! wahahahaha ~ my timing was 15 minutes plus,best ever record in JC. haha ~ i think 'chio-ing' in the first round helps.My timing for the first round was around 1:40 , it's very tedious to run at such speed. By half way through 2nd round, im starting to pant (i usually start panting when im at my 4th round).So i keep telling myself to breathe deep and slowly,and of course i was asking God for His strength to keep me through. =D

i really have no idea how did my timing improved(my timing is usally between 16 to 17min).The whole process of running was really amazing. One thing is really by God's grace.

I think it reflects how the way i should prepare for my A. Like u know it's always the inital stage that's really tough ,but if im used to that kind of momentum that requires "big strides" of moving forward then at the end it will be real satisfying.

ok, i think what i mentioned above is not making sense to you cause im like talking to myself. =P

plenty of tests ahead ! ok just keep going.

He is my first thing first.
We are suppose to reflect His character in every way in our life,
thus i must be faithful to the things i do because He is faithful.

hello peeps,
well, i have been feeling emo for quite a period of time.
i think i must really "grow" out of it, cannot let myself to continue to be in this state. It's defintiely not easy.
God has spoken to me times and times again to trust in Him but i have been a very disobedient kid.I threw tantrums,blame things on others ,trying to take control of the things on my hands etc. and yet I end up asking : Why are You not here with me?
But God is a faithful so how can it be possible that He has forsaken me? Very clearly it is because i am not willing to come back to Him that's why i am not able to see that He is with me.
He has not promised me a life that is a bed of roses but He has promised me to give me strength.
I have to endure hardship so that i can receive this joy at the end of the race(which is instilled by Him)
Why am i not able to trust Him then?
Is it because i feel that i can provide myself better than what God is able to provide?
fear of not be able to get what my deceitful heart desires?
When I say i want to follow Him then this life im living is no longer mine but His. I need to surrender to Him, He has the best plans for me.
What will happen if i do not give God the things on my hands?
I need to come back to God.

for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear.

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 1Peter 1:16 - 19

Come on, get up girl and start working, honouring Him in all things that you do! =)
Have faith!I am not redeemed by things that are perishable but im redeemed by precious blood of Christ!

hello! it is friday! next week is term exams.
haha no sigh no sigh, i think i enjoyed and yet also dislike the process of preparing for exams.

you know what, i dreamt about collecting A level result yesterday night and my result was B B B E , haha..my reaction in the dream was devastating....but when i woke up i feel that it was really a nightmare. haha , it left me thinking: is it really bad if i get this result? am i looking at academic result in a correct/bibical perspective?

but i must say this whole preparation pushes me to be a more disciplined person which is good! im still far from it sia.

ok~ im going back to study ! =)

thank God for always been there to remind me to draw back to Him.
thank God for providing me great teachers and friends ! =D

there is not greater joy than serving the Lord wholeheartly. im trying to learn!

hello!
i really have been wanting to blog again espcially i wanted to put up some resolution for 2007 .
Haha , however i know that if i were to keep blogging again, it will mean that there's a high tendancy i will be stuck to the computer for long.

so no! to blog. haha , so i will pen down my reflections instead and blog once in a while.haha.

it's only the beginning of the year yet im already pressing for time which is very good i suppose.
school timetable ends 4.30 everyday(except thurs) and my breaks are filled with extra lessons/remedials . Plus the commitments i have ..wow really no time.

Well, but don't worry for me, i really thank God to let me know very clearly that this is something that i chose, I must follow it through. Although very intense, but im enjoying the process. It's really very importat to learn to LOVE and ENJOY the process.

so i believe this is really gona be a year that i will grow in faith and also experience God's grace.

woah, in this year 2007, im gona have an exciting walk with God. =D

i have decided, that is to stop blogging. i have been lamenting for a long period of time, it's time to stop and start to grow up lots more.

i will blog again just that dunno when...=)

I FELL DOWN TODAY! ='(
BOOHOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

haha. the problem is i look too comical when i fell down.
here it goes :
i want to bored the bus 154.
within a split second, i found my self lying flat on the steps of the bus.
and within a split second, i felt myself so short, and the bus seems so tall.
haha...
i didn step on the steps i miss the steps and my leg brushed against the steps.
so got a bruise and 3 blueblack! ouch!
i just hope my bruise dun swell too much...

my leg look so ugly! so manyscars. now got a new scar.
i have not been falling down for quite some time.
haha. refresh my experience of falling down.

haha. i sound so sadist...haha.

moral of the experience : please concentrate while you are walking or boarding the bus.
stop day dreaming lah.haha. =P

sometimes i really can't stand myself.
can't stand myself for always looking back not looking front.
u know like that song : bu xiang zhang da.
yar. somehting like that.
can't stand myself for being emotional.
look at my past entries.
ohmygdness.
if i could...
if i could.....
blab blab blab.
ohwell.
i can't.
sigh. how many times i tried , i still cant.
weird. this is really weird.
weird weird weird.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. >.<

im just venting out my weird feeling here. please ignore me.haha.
lee wan xian! please wake up!!!

the DA CHANG JING show really very nice leh.
now i know why so many people are crazy about it.
especially aunties.
haha.

mentioning about aunties, today i was studying at mac,
suddenly was very disturbed by the chattering of an auntie with another listening.
they are educated aunties i believe, they are talking about some politics in some company.
then she complaine about the unfairness..and blab..
its no very loud but still i can hear quite clearly plus her action it makes everything very obvious.
i only have one concluding statment , i really don't like aunites to have long long complaines...
when i look at them the image of a witch will just appear in my mind.
haha. i dun mean it. i mean u can complaine but u koe not for nearly an hour non-stop.

had bbq with CGS gals today.
haha. they are CRAZY bunch of people.
to kanice: are u sure u can tag my blog everyday?=P
haha. but being with them makes me feel like a sec.sch girl again.
makes me feels that young again! haha.
the craziness we do. the noise we make. the laughters.....
i didn't eat much. i seriously dun like BBQ food.
i feel the fats...and oil...eeeee......haha.
i sound so health conscious lah!

yar.back to shld i join band.
let me try to weigh it.
join band : experience to play in a full band again. memories to be kept. there's no more chance after this to play in band again.have a tight timetable, then u will be more conscious in spending ur time.
don't join : because i was loose freedom of time, i will be tied down to commit a large portion of my time to practices. i cant commit to harp. cant wear the gown.haha. cant have time to meet up with people. need to assure my parents. cannot let them worry.

yar, sort of know. must be rational lah.
so..IM NOT GOING TOMORROW.
no band for me. =(
yar sad. but must see the big pix.

saw Winnie on the way home. a senior in band.haha.
she cant remember my name.woooah. of course lah. =P

dun procrastinate ur work. it feels good to complete ur hw so early!

wanted to post pix. but failed to receive from kanice. so too bad no pix! >.<

i was thinking what songs to choose for this coming sun worship for the past few hours.
this time round was rather hard because im not very clear what msg shld i present.

today's harp practice was a quality one. i like it!
But you see it's not always a quality one , so i still prefer band. much more.

i doolded at the walls at far east! haha. its my first time. wrote lame things.

i saw people having camps.
i miss having games and camps
i remember the old fond memories once again.

ohyar. today bus driver checked on me!
he requested for my ez-link and questioned me which sch i was from.
and i was very pissed.
how could he doubt on me! i was wearing my sch uniform!
urgh.

i saw pris that day! yes i know that day! haha.
fri.10.03.06
it was really an unexpected one.
i took the wrong direction to go PS
i took to bugis instead.haha.
then as i U turn...
tada! i saw someone in her st mag uniform!
then tada! is wanxian! hahaha!
she rocks! cause she got the same name as me!aha!
actually more than that, she is a very very nice girl. =P

i bought my designer friend's work today at fareast! haha! come and see!i bought this!!!
very nice right? heheee....hand-made k...must buy.

more of it, samples :

u can put it on ur bags, clothes, pencil case..blabblab..anywhere that u can pin it.

Location: FarEast, Inq Box 3rd level. =)

while stock last!

*all taken from may's blog. =)

you learn by alanis morissette

You live, you learn
You love, you learn
You cry, you learn
You lose, you learn
You bleed, you learn
You scream, you learn

You grieve, you learn
You choke, you learn
You laugh, you learn
You choose, you learn
You pray, you learn
You ask, you learn
You live, you learn

=) it's march holi! wat's ur schedule like?
is it gona be a fruitful one?

sigh.

SHOULD I JOIN BAND?

i WANT TO JOIN!

but..............................sobx. ='(

i think im very emotional these few days for not much obvious reasons.

causing my work to be affected.

this is bad, bad, BAD.

i need some help to be a bit more rational.

020306
2 x 3= 6

haha, i tell you!what i met today is really very erm..im dunno how to describe, its so amazing lah!
i bang into three ppl concidently! i mean not those hi bye friend. but friends that im very close to in pri. sch! ok one of them is pei ying so is not counted cux i see her every sun. haha...but i tot to her alot too!

ok..here it goes. today is VERY good day, BECAUSE! haha! tomolo no sch!
cux of JAE and then today i ended sch quite early i guess...
haha..cux got dental at 3pm so left sch early, and my dentist see me before 3 cux i reached there at 230pm so like hmm left at 3!
hahaha..that's so good...so ok time to go home! planned to sleep hahaha...which is such a great enjoyment to me!haha..=D
sat there. waiting for my train to come. looked up,
I saw a very familiar figure...
a person not too tall , with that familiar punk punk hairstyle and that same coloured bag , walking to wards my direction. " ah! is shuzk meng!" haha! my very good friend since pri.3 ! do u koe we manage to keep in contact since then?! still can tok any thing under the sun =D haha...

yes! it's her! aha! it's really such a concidence cause u see i dun always go otram park!haha, yeah ! someone to go home with me together to lakeside , and can catch up! it has been long since we really can tok..hahaha...though she came to my sch funfair didn really properly tok much .hahaha. lalala..tokt tok tok...then on the train saw pei ying loh..she look so lost lah..hahaa..and she got her hair cut. =)

she suggested for a lunch! haha..though im quite lazy to...but heheee...this is such a rare opportunity loh! hahaha..drop off at je and had lunch at jec kfc.
.i love the little chat with had..tok abt ur amibition my amibition ur sch life and blab...and things that are once ur fav. hmm....=D im just so happy to spend little time together again!

we took 335 together. it's really had been long since i have friends that took really abt the exact same route that i go home, not counting those who stay same blk as me lah.hahaha.

while boarding the bus, i saw this gal , i tot she was from china(hehehee..) and wanted to ask my for some direction. TO MY BIGGEST SURPRISE! this person is chuan hui! we same class since pri.3 too!!!!!! but only get to know her truly better in pri.5 and 6.hahaha! and i find her accent really like foreginer loh! hahahaha...it's such a big change..haha..but yet she still sounds and look that gentle.haha..she is studying what she is passionate for that is designing in napfa...then get to work somewhere where she like that is childcare.

shuzkz, i know u really envy her.haha ...but welll.....=)

when i saw my pri. sch friends..there's just this weird feeling .
dun raelly koe how to describe.
like we are so familiar with each other yet a bit strange....
like want to really care how has she been but dunno how to talk smoothly..
just now i keep on tounge tied lah..if u had realise ..hahaha
im shy! haha...
18 years old! we are all standing in different position , facing different things....
walking different paths...
weird. its just weird. my thoughs are just confusing....hmm...

but well . im still very happy =D to get to see and tok to u all again.
today the tightening of my braces are really pain. urgh.haha.
i miss you all!

IM A LOUSEY MONEY KEEPER!
urgh. yet im being assigned as tresurer in class ( it was said to be temporary, hm, but it seems im permanent now liao lah! )
and also a mini tresurer in my cell.
and im really very untrustable.
now im stuck with all the accounting for both groups.
because one of the factor is i use the money.that time during new year i used the money to pay for my stuffs first then ask the money from parents then pay back. but now my accounts are all in amess. and i have to scarifice my time to settle it. i wanted to complete my hw one...sobx.
sorry.....i koe im a bad bad person. have been trying to learn this lesson for quite some years.
urgh. i got my punishment liao that is to use my hongbao money to fill the hole up.

Lord, please help me to me be a good money keeper. =S

crescent sch prog just ended. and thank God, get to build rapport with the gals. but though i suppose to facilitate in the prog. i feel myself learning too!

good pratices of a leader
(Leadership appears to be the art of getting others TO WANT to do something you are convinced should be done. - Vance Packard)

1) inspiring a shared vision
2) challenging the process
3) enabling others
4) encourage the heart
5) model the way

some key pts that impact and remind me the most is to challenge the process. my experience of retaining really speaks lots. that is to be pro-active in my studies. must always ASK! CALRIFY DOUBTS! why am i scared how ppl will think of me? im responsible for my accademic performance.
secondly will be enabling others and encourage the heart. may i continue to learn to be concern for others from the bottom of my heart and always seek to let them give out their full potential in them.

mrs teo also shared something. there's always bound to have fustrations and dissapoinments, each of us have two choice : to react to it or respond to it?
well i guess u have the ans. =)

leaders often feel lonely.who is there to understand what he or she sees and what to achieve for the benefits of others? being a leader, you must be confident in yourself. but human is just a tiny little thing , we are not even sure of our furture and the outcome , so what and where is the confidence based on? i think that boils down to asking who are we?

if i lost my identity of being a child of God, i seriously lost everything. cause what's there in me that i can be proud abt?

to find the meaning in life, first have to get ur relationship with God right again.

woah i wrote so long today. aha. in a refelction mood mah. aha!
aha. eek. got this disgusting worm stick on my chem w/s! and its juice is in green! YUCK!
this remind me of ah lei. haha...the queen of insects.

gdnite! =P

i ate subway on monday tuesday and weds!
mon : something with honey oat
tues: ham with something
weds: roast beef with italian hearty!
i love subway! cux it is healthy and it wun make u feel guilty.aha!

well. i think this year God has prepared lots of lessons ahead for me to learn. It is good right? yar, obviously it will be good. but still i feel very fearful and intimidated.
today nearly get drowned in the pool during swim PE , the experience of struggling for survival makes me feel frighten and scared. This is dunno my no. wat time almost drowned. cux of my fear of deep pool that make me so panic.

actually there's lots more. But well, sure discover one by one in detials.

eeeee, the feeling of wanting to join band came back again.
another round of struggle. eeeee. >.<

im so sad!
today i wanted to chop chop go buy this PONY shoe that i saw which is like half price on monday! original price was 59 so its will be $29 after discount.HOWEVER! to my horror! as i chop chop down to orchard after sch todae..IT IS SOLD OUT! i really need a pair of shoes besides my sports shoe because i only have one pair of heels now and my sports shoe not counting my one pair of slipper. this pair of shoes is really unqiue , the kind of green it has is like hmm...that kind of jade green? baby coloured...yar is like converse shoe that kind of style but with a lot of patchy pattern. Hahaha i was sulking lah...the shop person which is a guy look rather cute...ahem ahem..he dunno how to help me but to keep on apologise.ahahaha..plus plus chun chun was there for me! haha...then we walk to find some"hope" of getting nice and cheap shoe..i saw! its 10 dollar!!!!! BUT THEN dun have my size! SOBX. so bad. in the end i bought this $8 slipper hopefully it wun lok sloppy if i wore it to church.

and i ate lots of CHOCOLATE todae. i didn have a proper meal.(except dinner) hmm, not realli on purpose.
early in the morning sat at the void deck with my class mates , list of food i ate in that free periods : hello kitty biscuit coated with choc, few bits of my friend yan's choc muffins, my own bread from home coated with nutella. yar!
following free period: choclate flavoured polky(is this the right spelling)
ok the only thing that is not choc i ate todae are the drinks: sugarcane..oo i ate kiwi too! glad there's no choc.
went orchard and grab this combo thing..dunno called what.shared with chun. but it is significantly with a thick layer on chocolate on it. and a cup of orange juice that come with it.

home food is the nicest. seriously.aha.=)
tata for now. im gona do my hw.lee wan xian is guai one. =p

who dont' like to be feel loved and doted?
with just one person focusing the attention on you
sharing the sweetest memories with you alone?

sweet words and promises, i hope its not a dark pit that is going deeper and deeper.
because once fall in, i don't know how long it will take one to climb up again.
promises of an eternity, of forever...are you sure u can fulfil it?
are you aware how fragile it is?

im worried for you.
i really don't want you to feel the hurts that i experienced before.
im scared it breaks you into so many pieces that you may not stand up again.
of course, i will never want to wish this day ever happen to you.



are we sure that we are up to it? how stubborn can we be, we know its dangerous, yet often we give ourselves excuses and continue to follow what our hearts desire. (do you know that our hearts are actually decitful?) Perhaps, sometimes we even lied to ourselves that"i will be the exception."
but if i never experinced the hurts before, i will never learnt what love really is[this is only possible if i truly come to know Him] and perhaps continue to love in a wordly manner. But not everyone can learnt it after one lesson , some may become a bitter person or some continue to numb themselves....
you all are friends that i care and loved , i hope you all will be alright. really.

because my Saviour is in control. i can have my peace in Him.=)

im tired!im tired!im tired!
legs are aching terrbibly.....
well yup.FUN-O-RAMA 18 is over liao!..
hmm...had fun time selling..though the amt of drinks we mange to sell are disappointing..sigh...
but had fun with my classmates..little joy, surprises laughters..are enough to sustain the smile on my face!=D=D
haha..
- blowing bubbles are fun!
- having balloons on hands are fun!
- buy things for ppl are fun!
(bought a big sunflower for shuzkz [we looked quite les today,haha,but well we are straight loh.its just that we too long nv see each other,hope she is really alright])
- got ramly burger! enci!thank you!!
- seeing familiar faces popping out infront of ur stalls are sweet and fun!
(miss them lots..memories will start to pour back again)
- Emerald green ..sounds nice? haha..but its not appealing..customers felt cheated.but is nice to drink loh.
- bought ac files
- cracking my head of how to use my coupons wisely but a bit regreat of not saving 2 dollar to buy ballons.haha.

well will try to pose the photos! it rained today u koe?

well how abt my chinese competition? well it is embarassing! disspoment! i really really wana do ac proud..wana show others like who say ac all is ang mo...got exception k..ac is not that bad..
but i forgot my speech! it sounded well in the beginning...then slowly slowly..i forget and forget and forget.......................................sobx! *embarassed*

well. thank God for today. today i didn flare up at the person that im irritated with. that's very gd! its was rather smooth .im not boiled today.haha.

ITS SO HARD TO LOVE !!!
sigh. im so irritated by some ppl. i seriously detest some ppl that i met...and wonder why i ever will meet such ppl....
sigh. im seriously trying very hard to be gentle and to accomodate and to be caring. but i failed again and again.

im also a person that is also vey detestable in God's sight if it wasn't Jesus's blood that cleanses me.
but...sorry...ok i will really try....but sometimes by just hearing the person's voice alrady make me boil very high...maybe shot up to 1000 degree C...

FUN O RAMA is this coming sat! hehee...my churchmates are coming down so happy!!haha..but the experiments trip down to chun hse...are quite exciting but tiring too...and im having a competition on the very day of fun o rama too! how fun!hahaha...well..it's been long since i participat in the chi oraltorical(dunno how to spell) competiti0on...going to 3 years i think...but this is something i wana try and brush myself...participate in competitions is good. =)

its very irritating that alot of ppl keep asking u to buy our funfair tix rite? i koe..well...its very irritating for me to sell too..cux i have to sort of like beg and force..hahaha...
well. amazingly..someone reminded me abt God's leading in this selling too...haha...though is rather small..but i do agree...God take care of me in every single part of my life.
is like time is running out....peeps that i want them to come from church supposdly to have some cell discussion in the afternoon....but then amaazingly it has to change to the morning due to some reasons...then...my one or two..come and help me buy pull their friends to buy from me...small effort..but GREATLY APPRECIATED!! =D=D=D

IM SO HAPPY AND HIGH NOW! IM GONA SING LALALALALALALA! =D
how can i ever stop praising You?

today is the day where all graduates of 2005 will be super duper nervous--> the arrival of the results.
the weird thing is, im nervous too! i guess it is because many ppl that i care for are receiving back their results too.hee.=P
i cracked my head of thinking what to say to them to make them less nervous or how should i say to let them feel encouraged or at least have the hope for the future. but i know this is impossible. cux neither me nor anyone are sure of the future. i bet even fortune tellers who claims that they can predict the future does not knows what is ur future like in every single details. but even they do know do u really want to ask them?
the future indeed is full of uncertainties. but it depends u are in whose hands. no one can assure u abt ur future. whenever phrases like"u can do it","u will do well" it really makes me wonder,really? 100% sure?
but with God , i can safely say : i know whatever result it is , it will not be bad cause He has the plans for me.He has planned my future in full details in a way it will prosper me and not harm me.so whatever outcomes or situations in my life..i know i will be safe. as He is the hope of my future.=) and this will keep me joyful til the day i met Him face to face.

awww..my stomach is feeling awful....is so pain until i have to cuddle myself up...
must be the junks i ate over the new year...aww.....=S help....

im sick again! sickness: headache (processing to fever), sorethroat,cough.let me start counting one year i must sick how many times. i know last year in one year i sick more than 5 times. let's see what's the record for this year. =P
now i cant do anything...is like no energy...im gona slp after typing this...urgh. feel so useless like that.
ok i think the honeymoon weeks is officially ended. cux this coming week will be the...end sch at 430 and guess what there's additional period called the zero period so sch ends at 510pm!!! the zero period is for the preparation for fun-o rama. oh yar! please buy tickets from me. haha.=P

i see me j2 friends like everyday so gloomy like that leh...also dunno how to cheer them up.sigh. j2 life really very cham leh...i know.

ahh..my head aches. cant write any further. shall just end here. ttfn!