The Unwanted Gift

It was laying on the table
Still and unpackaged.
The maker spent hours on it;
Doing it with all his/her heart and efforts,
Trying his/her very best to make it presentable.
He/she hopes that the receiver will be filled with sweetness and joy
Upon receiving this prepared gift.

But now despite the gift was done
And despite the maker was pleased with it,
It was not presented.
He/she tried,
But the response was hostile.
What do you suggest the maker to do?
Continue to try to give?
Or continue to leave it laying on the table, collecting dust?




Because of love, you will still give.

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i was very happy that day because we had a family outing! do u know that is really rare for my family to go on a outing?(in fact i don't remember any outing like this) it was my mum's birthday. =) my dad and sis took leave and we went outing at orchard. orchard - werid place for dad. but still i see him grin from ear to ear.
the picture: just me my sis my dad and mum ...went shopping. walk along at orchard road.we just go anywhere that mum wants to go.
sis: u want to buy ur shoes right?
we pulled her, and we stepped into our first destination : charles and keith.sis bought a pair of new shoes for her.
me: so where u want to go for ur sec stop?
mum: i want to eat ice-cream
sis: ok! let's go to gleto(ok i dunno how to spell)
we all had ice-cream..sat at the fountain at taka and apprecating one of my mum's favourite dessert.followed by shopping for clothes...haha...dad was bored ..but neverthless he is still happy. =)
well. i just wana note this down...so that i will remember this happy pix. well. only God knows very well that this picture is not easy to achieve for my family...espcially..we are a chinese traditon family. we are rather shy in expressing our love for each other. even expressing here now i feel weird. haha.

ohya! we end off with a dinner at soup restaurant! just wana recommend ...if u got any family outings there's really a nice place to have dinner...the soup are really nice...i drank frog saliva for dessert...hahaha..it was sweet~ =P

computer breaks down again! what im seeing now is a screen that is really white. it hurts my eyes. sigh.
i watched Harry Potter with Kay they all todae! well. haha...me and kay are the most timid ones.u shld had seen how we hold on to each other when the evil peeps in the show POPs out.wahaha..i think im gona miss kay real badly next year. she really brought alot of joy to me.=)

the weather is so nice today! the feeling is so shiok when u step out after bathing and the breeze just wooshh pass u...woah.it's really nice to sleep in this weather!
i feel "poetic" todae. so i should "try" to make my thoughts sounds like a "poem".haha.

can u feel the icy breeze today?
this is the breeze that i loved and enjoyed the most.
feeling its gentleness as it passes me.
it has a special scent, which brought back a not too long ago memories.
as the memories flashes, it had made me felt a sense of sweetness.
but it has also made me remembered the bitterness.
though the bitterness no longer grab a hold of me
but i still whined a little of wanting back the good old memories.

ohoh. i dunno how to put my thoughts in words liao.hmm......ohno. i really dunno how to say! i will think again. haha.=P i wana sleep! dun wana miss the good chance of slping.haha!

p.s ok it's obvious. my english still cannot make it. what a choppy poem.hahahahaha.

how one's life should be like?

why am i asking myself such qn. this is such a dangerous signal. *thinking hard* am i busy with the right stuffs? am i busy at a right way? is this the way i should serve? am i neglacting anyone that is close to my heart right now? am i? am i...???

*yawnx* still wondering...
but i know im really tired today. near 4 hrs of meeting. 3hrs of typing minutes in CHINESE.(only completed 3 out of 12) how horrible. i really dunno what i wana achieve this coming week. seems that things are becoming more like an obligation. THAT'S VERY BAD. i know. gona sort it out through prayers....

im was angry today.
no. 1) travel all the way down to school end up..practice cancelled. no notice was given. SL THOUGHT that teachers will be there so we will still be able to get the key to practise, but in the end NO TEACHERS -> NO KEY -> CANNOT PRACTISE.
WASTE MY TIME!

so i travel to CCK.. going to meet someone at 3 pm there...
walked ard lot 1 to try to get some stuff for my friend's birthday.. but cant find what i want...walked finish..go grab a bite..try not to eat so expensive one...i realise the cheapest meal was KFC $2.55 from shroom meal...but! it so unhealthy! ..can u believe it ..foodcourt food are at lesat 3 dollars more expensive than KFC! i got myself a plate of mee siam...which the serving is quite small...ahhhhh..feel so cheated.

no.2) "Poooot" i didn't fart. guess wat....MY HANDPHONE DROP INTO THE MEE SIAM!!!
i was panicked, without any hesitation i picked up hp ...poor motorola E398...stained with meesiam....i tried to "save" it ..but i dun have tissue! how! i walked towards the cleaner...asked her politely to lend me her cloth to clean...guess what! SHE SNAPPED AT ME!and say: YOUR OWN THINGS OWNSELF GO AND FIND WAYS TO WIPE. I WILL NOT HELP U.
i was so mad. cna u imagine the gravy just keep on dripping dirtied my skirt and shirt and she still dun wan to help. with my sticky hands , one holding my hp one holding my wallet i hurriedly walk to the drink stall to buy a packet of tissue. sigh. now i got a "messiam hp" i still can smell the meesiam from it...eee..

no.3) i sat at Macs..it was ard 130pm ...waited..for the person to come...330pm..she didn't turn up...awww.....im glad Michelle is ard..or else i will be even more cham...

ok at least i brought somethings with me...so i can do..i sat til 530..yar.the chair must be realli hot...haha

well. but the day ended with a positive note!i met dx! finally...we have been asking each other out to tok since promo ended?finally...haha...
well it's very true that true friends doesn't have to see each other everyday to maintain a friendship....the conversation is really quality!..haha..im always very thankful and amazed when i can still remain close with a friend despite we hardly see and tok to each other so much..=D

im really happy to see her growing , learnt stuff from her...her experience when she share with her friends...
yar indeed. evangelism is not by ourselves. but we are teamed up with God. =P
p.s. go and care. go to where they are.

hello. i ate lots of things yesterday. that i skip my dinner.haha.
list of things i ate for lunch:
curry chicken ( super duper oily that i dare not drink the curry)
rice ( cooked with chicken oil)
durian ice kachang ( imagine it has such high sugar contain)
roti boy ( can't resist the temptation cux it is selling at 90cents..hot buy!)

haha...i feel really fat after eating so many oily and sweet stuff...drank milk for dinner...haha...

i had my first visit to the central national library yesterday!
and i go with her! a new friend that i get to know yesterday! haha ...ming hui! continue to thrist to know God's Words k? im so encouraged by u ! =P

and ahem thx ah i "love" the national library lift. it makes my heart jump out....hahahaha...my legs trembled when i got out of the lift...how embarrassing lah....hahaha

well. im going through a tough time now. it seems that my trail is "growing" bigger and bigger. may i continue to cling on to Him. =P

[me] have you ever wonder why you fail so many times in terms of studies?
[me again] yar...
[me] so what are your thoughts]
[me again] well ... though feeelings sux big time, though I feel so weary, dun understand why i have to suffer and face such terrible horrible thing...im assured that God works for the good purposes for those who love Him
[me] so seems that you see some "light"
[me again] yar..i think one thing that God wants me to learn is not to put me in comfort zone
[me] poor you , since sec 1 u have been changing classes every year .except sec 3&4... changing ur group of friends ..and u say that good?
[me again] yar ... precisely..this shows that God knows me utterly well..He knows that if i always stay in the same class i will get too comfortable and it will be even harder to get out ... i think that's why i always face a lot of changes in terms of environment...i must admit that im really a person who takes a long period of time to adapt and adjust ... though i may appear...emotionally and mentally im not really..i once thought adapting to a new environment is not a problem to me..but i was wrong...He knows me much better than i know myself...
[me] are u just trying to comfort yourself
[me again] obviously not...duh.

i wana be a little lamb of God, always taking a little step of faith to move forward , always learning to trust and obey Him. For He is my good shepherd. =)

my computer is back! no longer the laptop! yeah! woah. i realise my keyboard is so nice to type one. got the bouncy bouncy feeling and the chattering keys sound. sounds crispy to me.hahahahahahahahahaha.and woah ! my screen now is really big! soothe my eyes...haha..=P

though my computer is back but it is reformatted that means!! lots of images are gone. lots of songs are gone. lots of words documents are gone. well well. i think..........that can do some good to me. =)

hey don't worry for me k. i think retain is not a very very very bad thing. is just that i have yet to reach the standard required and therefore i have to be one year slower than others. so im really ok though when people asked me about it ..i still feel er...duno where to hide..haha. it's really a good time to learn the lesson of "humility" =) -learning in process- i graduate liao then tell u ...haha..but i think by that time i will be in heaven...wahahaha..

i still wana say : THANK YOU FOR REMEMBERING ME IN YOUR PRAYERS!

i do still need it... i think especially when school starts. =) now is not yet the worst time and feeling. hm...in the meanwhile im trying to pick up studying intensively again. =) everyone must jiayou!!!

MY THANKSGIVING

thank you Lord for showering me with Your abundant love,joy and peace.
He hears my cries attentively and show me His promises through His Words.
He is always so faithful. =)

i thank Him for the people that He placed in my life.
without them seriously i don't think i can stand up that fast.
hey peeps, thank you so much for your encouragment, support, concern, reminding me to keep my eyes fixed on God, for His plans are always the best for me and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts.

thank you u all for encouragingments( through my blog, sms or words or prayers etc!) are all APPRECIATED! =D

without you all, i dunno i will dwell in my sorrows for dunno how long...hahaha...
especially peeps that i know barely for 7 months in acjc ! im so amazed and surprised by u all the love and warmth....heheheee.... =D
of course my co-workers in yfc and my sis and bro in church too !

it's well with my soul. =) im ready to stand up and fight the battle again.

THANK YOU !!!!!!! love you guys ... =P

you know, im in such a conflicting state of mind. dunno which is the correct attitude that i should take in response to the devasting results. lots of questions on my head. questions that i dunno how to find answer.
well. i only can hold on to one thing that is: God loves me. simple statement yet it is hard to tell ppl exactly how did He shower His love on me in my daily life.

friends asked: how come u can still be so optimistic? after receiving such bad results at the next moment can still smile and say that im craving for brownie..." i wana eat brownie..but very ex leh shld i?..brownie can make me happy loh.."
well. only He can give me this peace and can make me still smile at the storm. =)

well. i only have one wish. that is whatever actions or attitude i take in response to this storm. let it be blameless in His sight.

well. obviously. still sad. but He gave me strength to face tomorrow.Cause He holds my tomorrow.=)

im short fused today.people are getting more short fused too.i wonder how many blown out bulbs will i see tomorrow. i saw my physics teacher today! i dare not look at him. =S *tick.tick.tick. friday is approaching. where's my peace? =S

today with have sexuality education which they emphaise that it is not sex education which i dun understand what's the differnece ?!! haha .. anyway .. my heart sank when i saw people dun find anything wrong in pre-marital marriage. do u koe my teacher agrees that there's no wrong in pre-marital marriage as long as two love each other. what's the world coming to? it's getting to scary.... the values are just so blur in the youth minds now...it seems that absolute rights and wrongs does not exist tothem..there are always a lea way...

well..shall tok more abt it another time...

anway today is wan ting's birthday. well . though is a short party . but i enjoyed. i felt encouraged when i see younger ones growing spiritaully in the Lord. =) and im happy to see cell groups growing. im happy to pray in a group. conclusion : im over-all happy not short fused. =P

i think im getting crazy each day....haha...im feeling that im gona have a fever soon...ohno..what's wrong with me....well...just let me whine now........................................................................and slp:)

i love the night breeze ... so so nice...smells nice too? =)
as i reflect back the times when im preparing for promo ... i couldn't believe that i made it through....the struggles to stay focus in studying..the struggles to cope with my fears..the struggles to be discipline..the stresses..peer pressure... etc....the non-stop battle spiritually and physically...are really frightening to me...
how many times did i actually break down and cry...feeling myself very useless...simple things also cannot conqueor etc...
but really i can only say one thing that is God made it possible for me. He really carried me through these diffcult moments ... comforting me through His words and songs...assures me...providing me strength and rest...
how can i be doubtful to this God who is so real in my life, how can i doubt at His love for me.
truly it's His grace and mercy , that He is willing to love me who is so unworthy of His love.
He is the Kings of kings and Lord of lords yet he still willing to die on the cross for me so that my sins may be cleansed.
His love is so big big big big BIG !!!

now is the awaiting of my results..which will all be out on friday...the thought of me makes my heart panic...but may i also learnt to put my trust and confidence in Him alone and stay focus to do His works.=)

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial,because when he has stood the test,he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

may our faith be toughen and not lessen after each round of battle! =P

YES! i finally changed my blogskin ! isn't this so sweet and nice?!! haha! yeah! im really happy to change my blogskin!!! haha...but urgh...the tagboard is not working...urgh urgh...heee...work on it another time...=P ttfn!

ooo...btw...baby blue is flora chan favourite cartoon character! =P

haha...why am i always jotting things down after talking to the wooer?haha..actually it's nice talking to her..can talk very long...hahaha...=D
i think my social circle is quite big...but i think it can be quite scary and tiring?maybe i can say: with more friends come greater responsibilities....sounds familiar?hee...
maybe u can feel belong? when u say hi to more people but then at the same time u will feel superficial? then ok u want to know the person more but that to know a person more needs time and effort...so end up tiring i guess...there's many ppl i wish i could spend more time with but duno how and hard to find time.... haha..maybe that's excuses...it is not impossible, it is posssible one...
i want lesser friends and closer friends..but however if i never had a taste of having more friends i wun know having lesser friends is better and good! contradiction. how to remember to care for ur friends when there's many in ur head...
but im sure God place so many friends in my life for a purpose.=)
sometimes i also think...studying kills me by forgetting to care abt my friends and most impt my family.

there's so many more impt things to do in life. it is definately not boring or meaningless. just look ahead,look at ur holidays, there's so much time that mean u can use it to do many things u that are meaningful besides just having fun...maybe u can go learn a skill..and go benefit others?or go cease the time to clarify or find out any doubts u had in ur life...just go! and dun let this holiday be a meaningless one...=)

yeah.im going shopping with eunice! haha...i think i never go a one to one date formal shopping with her before..despite knowing her for 4years.=D

gdmorning!im sick of studying chinese for 2 hours straight..haha..i have better endurance in studying physics than chinese ! oh my goodness! haha..this give me 2nd though of whether i really wana further my studies in majoring chinese...i dun like to write chinese words , i dun like to read chinese novels so what actually give me the tot of becoming a chinese teacher? haha..like they always tease me "the making of chinese teacher" haha...maybe i shld go major in physics! haha...and see how i die...hahaha...ahh...suddenly im quite lost dunno what to be next time...but haha..i stil got at least one more year for me to think about...

i considered myself as rebellious yesteryda..haha...i was like...i wana be alone.dun come and bug me.i wana surf as much as i want ...sleep as much as i want..dun u dare to interfere.hoping that by deluding myself in doing what i want i can get rid of my pain of cant do my phy paper..which frankly speaking the paper was easier than terms...but well..it didn't make me feel better ..instead i feel worst... the guiltiness of spending my time like that...
haha..i suddenly tot of the famous quote in twelfth night .. "if music be the food of love,play on give me excess of it....." orsino was love sick..im like him but im not love sick...im exam-sick...haha...
u wana shut urself out from everything? the feeling is worst. dun ever try it..bad for health..=P

well..shall go back studying chinese...hopefully can complete the read through today ..is so many pages !! then tomolo can just keep on memorise and memorising...which i dun encourage...chinese shld be alive! wahaha....

it's really hard to give thanks when u r feeling lousey.
i really feel LOUSEY today...depress...i cant do my maths exam ! im really really sad..
that despite the extra practices i got more than others..i still cant do!
is even more depressing when ur friends are comparing ans..and u? can't even get the final ans..
sobx sobx...

see the prob up there? yea...comparison... but...hiax. i really cant think of something to make myself feel better. and true enough i cant help feeling myself being the most stupid student in ACJC.

solution? slp .yeap feel much better.. and u will totally feel great again when u surrender all things to Him and give Him ur praise and thanksgiving.
haha.so i play my oragan like mad ... and yeah ! haha..thank God that He still loves me ...heheee.=) so im just put my trust in Him and just concentrate on my physics...haha

i truly thank God that He makes my flu go away. i prepared 3 packets of tissue today,after experiencing using 2 packet of tissue during chi paper yesterday... and i didn need to use any ! hahaha !amazing ya? haha ... God is good and faithful. =)

The battle has not started yet my physical health has already failed me, can I still keep my faith?

yox. yup. has been really busy preparing exam.everyday is like a rollar coaster to me . suddenly happy . suddenly stress. suddenly sad.haha .. after e conversation i decided to jot down some reflection during this period of time. =)

yup. no doubt this period is really really stressing .
i tot to myself. how come im feeling so stressed?
the most truthful ans: im scared of retaining. i have high possiblity of retaining after obtaining 3Fs in terms. haha. i scared how ppl think of me. i dun wana let ppl thinks im stupid or incapable.
therefore i begin to pressure myself..then of course got breakdown loh.
but i realli thank God for showering His grace and mercry to me.
He reminded me that hey where am i placing my confidence? in my results in my studies?
since i really doing my very best, always trying to maximise my time in studying the results i should raelli leave it in His hands who promised me that His plans are to prosper me.
perhaps i really retain , but i did my best. though to the world this may seems not a prosperity but hey His thought are far much greater than my thoughts. His plan definately works for a good purpose! =P

im so happy that I have this hope in me, which i really wana tell lots of ppl..when i see people stress and all that i really dunno how to encourage them , cux there's nothing to hope for..i can onli say just do ur best ... but for those who has the Hope in Him , when we do our best we can be assured that our results are safe in His hands.

one more thing to add, i always condem myself when i cant do the qn .. dermorilsing myself... i realise that im uniquely created by the very very wise and smart Creator ! so..i definately have the potentail to conqueor the qn !!! haha ... but CANNOT BE PROUD !remember..all these things does not come from me but from our Creator =D

well well..let's really learn to put our faith and trust in Him.I have tasted His goodness and faithfulness in this difficult times ... go !taste His goodness urself! =P

sitting infront of the comp.really unwilling to face what i had to study.ahhhhh.jiuming ah.
my chest has been pain since 7..and i really wonder why.now is 8.what if i studdenly get a heart attack .. ahh! that will be good! that means i will no need to face promo !
it's only tues ! and im on my verge of giving up?! how can !!! i wonder what i will be like at the end of this week...*sobx*
waha...bahhh bahh...i want a good health ! no headache. dun wana feeel feverish when i get panick... ahh..
haha..i think i continue to write like this my sept enties will be really sad ...so depressing to see the word STRESSED ..so let's read it this way ! DESSERTS !!! YUMMY :D:D:D
yar ! physics is a piece of cake ! coated with purple berries with creams ... maths is just a slice of mango mousse ! chinese ?! my ice-kachang ! hahaha... if i really eat all these i will really get terrible tummy ache ..the weathr is so cold ! haha..nice to sleep eh? but cannot !
ok let's get cracking ! dun be lazy people !!!

come do with me : BREATHE IN --- HOLD it !1 ...2....3....!! :D
BREATHE OUT !
again!do this three times ! feel cool? ok !

in these times of difficulties i will be obedient and leant to trust God for He will provide me with His strength ! ;P
"so do not fear,for I am with you;do not be dismayed,for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

yox.let's blog blog blog. to relieve stress ! haha...
im doing my tutorial on curve sketching..and im so impatient with drawing curves !! u must consider the curve tends to where and where .. ahyoi caculate until i blur!*-.-*

and i have been eating mooncakes ! i just cant imagine the amts of fats ! hahaha ...im gona lose my title of ms fit ! hahaa ! these year i got to eat a variety of mooncakes...haha..

1) my sis's future mother-in-law's 1st attempt of making mooncakes herself. and she can be really creative...bin pi + green tea + choc chip..and how it taste like ? ahem. shan't comment...but well..seems that im fuflling my sis responsiblity ..ate 6 out of 12 !!and she ? none !
2)haagen daz ice-cream mooncake..of course yummy..but is a bit too sweet...guess how much one haagen daz mooncake cost ? $20 !!! still got
3)various hotel mooncakes ...
4)yam mooncake..one of my favourties..and
5)my father's fav. hainan mooncake..and wu ren mooncake..which wat he like is what i dislike the most.. eeewww...
see! the amt of mooncakes i got to eat...= fats !! haha...ok dun get me wrong. im not on a diet.just that i have to eat healthily to prevent any more growth horizontally.haha =P

ok. let's move on to the next topic. which is what my father teased me about yesterday ->hooking a Jin Gui Xu ( a golden tortise husband!)
if he is serious about it im gona bang my head against the wall now!haha!
haha. let me delcare.why i never wana tok about the possiblities of a bgr relationship now.
1)im not mature enough to hold the responsibilites as a helper for my partner
2) no time to be committed. doing phy can take me 24 hrs. where got time for bf ?!!!
3)my age is very far away from the suitable marriage age !!
4) there are far too many more impt things that getting a bf !!!
5)...can't think liao ...but im sure these reasons are sufficient=P bleah.

what's the point of just getting a relationship after the another? sometimes is really sad to see my friends getting hurt over and over again. sad.
let me grow more mature first lah..use the time to really develop myself. =D
whuever see this dun ask me this qn ANYMORE! =P wahahahaha
let me at least be a nerd for now. go study ! =D=D=D

well. one more lesson that i learnt as this week come to an end that is : slow to anger!!
"for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires". James 1:20

this verse never speaks so strongly to me before.this shows that God is really all-knowing. He knows that i have been VERY short-tempered this week. well the week is coming to an end. since i confessed my sin. let is be the past and let's look forward to a good coming week !=P
let's move it ! i wana finish my maths ! =D
whuever feels that i spoke very harsh to .im sorry!