horrible.
in a surpressed mode.
urgh.


"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow."

yawnx...
suppose to write this reflection thing for edu psy, but i'm clueless on what to write.
it is on the topic about motivation.
how are you going to motivate at-risk students?
interesting topic right?

there's thing about theorotical and practical.
if we do not implement what we have studied into our teaching, then we have studied will be useless. many have said that it is idealistic to implement what you have learnt to teaching, cuz reality differs alot.
am i really in my own bubble world?

i really don't want to start doing my work.........whine.......
i want to change my blogskin!
i want to start doing my cards!
i want to sleep!

sigh. but not now.ok do work.

2 weeks of school has passed! and there's seriously many stacks of notes awaiting me to read them.

i have 6 modules:

• communications
• teaching applications and theories,
• educational psychology
• modern chi lit
• chi language reading and writting
• Modern Chinese Phonology and HanYu Pin Yin

guess which is the one i find the hardest to survive? the last one ! Han yu pin yin!most of the time i was lost. it is so funny, each english alphabet letter has it's own chi pronouncation and each chi word you pronounce you must know which part of the tounge produces the sound etc etc etc.

im really thinking twice do i really like chi! haha, but yar like is still my fav. subject. but i thank God i have a very nice tutor for that most horrible module. so i think i will still be able to survive.

but something really interesting that i discovered during consultation with my tutor for that module to day.

do you know that there's errrors in our Han Yu Pin Yin system?

ok but it's still safe to continue using it.

it seems that there's bound to be flaws in systems ( not particularly referring to judicial system) and theories etc.

SIN. penetrating every areas of out life.

language is so intricate yet we are using our language so loosely. not taking seriousness in communication!

on an additional note, i ended my work officially as a Part-tie Barista at Spinelli yesterday. not so much of sad but i do not bear to leave the work when is like i'm starting to get used to it. i will miss the work and the people there!

ok back to prepare bible study for church youth group tmr!

just came back from orientation camp!
it's really a nice one,can see and feel the efforts put in by the committee members.friends in the group are nice and cooporative.
but don't know why I just feel something not so comfortable.
but at least it really settles me for the sch reopen next week!

i saw this is one of my friend's blog and decided to quote her cause I have this thought before too but just that I do not know how to express it out. She can really link and express thoughts well. =) =) =)
A thought after visiting back your secondary school, seeing the people, things, places etc:
It has always struck me as rather strange that one can change so much in 10 years but in that same ten years, it seems that time has stopped for the stall owners and school people. Superficially, everything will continue to run as it has for the last decade. A sense of stability amidst constant change or pity that their lives has stagnated.


Friendship.
sometimes i really wonder hard about it.
or maybe, perhaps, a lot of times.

i want to secure my identity in ChristAlone.

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross

In every victory let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
is Christ alone

thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings to me.
thank you for trusting me.
im aniticipating how God will mould you from a young boy to a young man who goes after God's heart :) :)



yesterday had bible study on Daniel chapter 3.

"Trust God."
"Have faith in God."

common phrases, popular phrases, how do you qualify it?
this phrase is so commonly used among the christian community that if we do not attempt to qualify it, we might just miss the essence of it. I mean we may not turly understand what we are saying.

I guess many of us are familiar about the event of Daniel's 3 friends were thrown into the fire furnace? do you know what did the friends say when the king commanded them to be thrown into the fire?

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

will you say that they are of little faith, because they replied to the king with the "if"? If God didn't...

No. I think they are truly of great faith. They truly understands that no matter what's the outcome, God is still soverign. So even if they are really thrown into the first and burn to death, they know that if God has allowed that to happen, that's the best for them.

will we find that God is wrong or saying that that decision is not wise enough if they are burnt to death?

what i have learnt that having faith is not only in trusting that somethng will turn out better. but is also trusting that even if something worse happened, it is still within God's soverignty, within His wisdom and best plans.

may i continue to love listening to God's Voice through studying of His word. =D

sometimes i really wonder what does it mean to be a good daddy's girl.
does it really mean to obey whatever he says?
but if what he said is wrong, do i still listen?
obviously not right. (before that i have to truly examine whether it's wrong)
but how to tell him with a gentle and yet not offensive way.

i know where you are coming from, but sometimes is just so tiring to explaine.

urgh. i just don't want to be kid that no longer wants to talk.

"Honour your father and your mother,

so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you"

Exodus 20:12

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast"

Ephesians 2:8-9

Who doesn't wrestle with sin?
I do.
i ought to feel bad.
but i should not forget the fact that God in His deepest love has chose to set me free!

"Those who look on him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."

Psalm 34:5

Through Jesus Christ, we are seen as radiant! GRACE.

may i learnt to show grace and forgiveness to others just like what God chose to give it to me.

:)

urgh.
feel so lost and fruastrated.
no handphone, no cash can be withdrawn.
now, i realised my thumdrive is pick-pocketed together with my wallet and hp.
fruastrated over the fact that i feel so worried.

suddenly so many things are happening, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
this reminded me of, sometimes what i planned God can intercept it.
im just a very tiny and vulnerable person.

Lord, teach me to depend on You and to cast my worries upon You.

God is in control by Avalon

This is no time for fear

This is a time for faith and determination

Don't lose the vision here

Carried away by emotion

Hold on to all that you hide in your heart

There is one thing that has always been true

It holds the world together

CHORUS

God is in control

We believe that His children will not be forsaken

God is in control

We will choose to remember and never be shaken

There is no power above or beside Him,

we knowGod is in control, oh God is in control

040708
Grace last day of work in Spinelli.
my shift manager made a comment that caught me thinking: no one is permanent.

040708
first meeting with Linda to discuss west girls event.

040708
a pick-pocket case actually happened on me.
there goes my wallet and handphone. =(

no CCTV in the shop.
shop assitants are clueless.
sercurity guards are helpless.

am i faithless?
Prayers didn't came first, my own thoughts came first into my mind.
I forgot that God is more powerful and mighty than the CCTV, the shop assitants and sercurity gurads,and me.

is not about beliving God can make my wallet and hp re-appear again.
it is about coming to Him first, because it shows that no matter how bad is the situation, i am trusting that God is in control; He knows all things and sees all things.
He knows what's happening to the birds in the sky, obviously He knows what is happening to me at that place and at that moment. So obviously He knows what i need.

no matter how bad the situation or situations in life is, there's still many things that we can thank God for.

for this incident,
i truly thank God for Stef.
I'm so so glad that i have a friend with me ( i can't imagine if i was alone).
thank God that she spotted that my bag was wide-opened.
calmed me down.walk around with me to find.immediately lend me her phone.talk to sercurity guards.provide me with money to travel.travel all the way down togethr to singtel shop to get a new SIM card.together we lodged a report. thank God for her smiles and laughters that helpes me not to be so sacred and tense up.

thank God that there's less than $5 bucks in the wallet, less than a dollar in the ez-link.the wallet is a really old one. so the theif seriously didn't "earn" much.

phew.
lessson learnt: Low crime does not mean no crime. be alert and responsible for your sown belonings. don't be too engross in shopping and forget everything else!

Thank God for your protection.

I had a good rest today. :)

haha, didn't manage to go somewhere like by the beach or some parks to have some quiet moments, just went to some coffee house and sat there, read and think.
i think once in a long while, is good to have a personal retreat---a retreat that medidate on God's Word. :) :)

let me share with you some thoughts before i turn to bed.
it is amazing that what i was reading is about rest too! I'm reading this book titled: Written in Stone. which is talks about the Ten Commandements and Today's Moral Crisis. Do we still obey the Ten Commandements even though we are so called under the new covanent? Of course we do right, so how to in this present time.
so anyway, i was reading on the fourth commandement about keeping the Sabbath day holy.
some extracts from the chapeter :

"we are called to work and rest because we serve a working,resting God."

"Our problem is that we find it so hard to take genuine delight inthe sanctified pleasures of God.Dare I say it? God bores us. We are willing to spend some of our time worshiping Him. but then we feel like we need a break, and so we go right back to the world's lesser pleasures.But the more we learn to delight in God, the more willing we are to keep his day holy."

Learning points for me :
I am under His grace( He saved us though we do not deserve), yet often I am so unwilling to give that one day unto Him alone, wants to bargin the time to do more work ( it could be church work too).

I could be physically be in church but I am not truly setting aside the day for Him as my mind and heart might be at somewhere else. I'm once again reminded that going church is not about attendance but about whether am I ready to worship God.

Sunday is for us to rest, and this rest does not mean I sleep very long then get rest or go out with friends, but the rest should be tuning back to God (the One who made you), to be refreshed by Him.

Sabbath day is not the last day of the week, but the first day of the week. It is the Lord's Day:D


I haven really comprehend finding rest in Him alone but I know what Jesus has done for us gives meaning to everything in our lives. So let's just keep finding out! =)

31st May.west girls event discussion.tcc.PS hunting & shopping. fort canning.
thankyou Lord. :D:D

"My soul finds rest in God alone;my salvation comes from Him." Psalms 62:1

today is my first day of work at Spinelli!
and i realise i seriously want a massage machines at home...
i have aching back and legs after standing for 6 hours,washing and scraping things...

haha, i am not complaining! just voicing out.hee. =P
but the good thing is i get to sample alot lot of drinks today and I blended drinks today for customers!=D of course there are some errors that i made....hee.

what can i do with my mind when i am doing things that don't really requires a lot of thinking?
hm.

While I was surfing through facebook,blogs..looking through what people have wrote,how they have expressed themselves. I felt this sadness.

Everyone is trying to be somebody, trying to find something or trying to do something to cause people to look up to them.

They could be doing it consciously or sub-consciously.

I think i find myself among this people.

I attempted to shove this feeling aside, not to give much thought to it and try to occupy myself by finding jobs online.

I was listening to this Christian Radio online and suddenly I paused and listened attentively to the lyrics of the song.

The next thing I know,the song answer the uncertainties and doubts that I was having.

how amazing!

Every Man

by Casting Crowns

I'm the man with all I've ever wanted

All the toys and playing games

I am the one who pours your coffee, corner booth each Saturday

I am your daughter's favorite teacher

I am the leader of the band

I sit behind you in the bleachers

I am every man

I'm the coach of every winning team and still a loser in my mind

I am the soldier in the airport facing giants one more time

I am the woman shamed and haunted by the cry of unborn life

I'm every broken man, nervous child, lonely wife

Is there hope for every man

A solid place where we can stand

In this dry and weary land

Is there hope for every man

Is there love that never dies

Is there peace in troubled times

Someone help me understand

Is there hope for every man

Seems there's just so many roads to travel, it's hard to tell where they will lead

My life is scarred and my dreams unraveled

Now I'm scared to take the leap

If I could find someone to follow who knows my pain and feels the weight

The uncertainty of my tomorrow, the guilt and pain of yesterday

There is hope for every man

A solid place where we can standIn this dry and weary land

There is hope for every man

There is Love that never dies

There is peace in troubled times

Will we help them understand?

Jesus is hope for every man

I hope this song will speak to you too. =)

It's all about people.





It's about engaging Young People's lives


It'a about loving them with a genuine love.





So hard!


It requires one to putting down of oneself, to look only at their interests and not your interest.


It requires sincerity to really want to know them.





still learning.


always learning never learnt.





although it's so scary that there is really so so much things to learn ,


I'm very thankful to God for each small little parts that I learnt,


Because He is the One that allow me to see and learnt. =)

Pei Mei. Gloria. Hui Yun.

engaging young people's lives.

been buzzing about uni application the whole day today.
type and re-type essays.
thank you BJ for vetting my essay, trying to cut and cut so that it fits the 300 words max criteria.

for a moment i thought i have completed both essays for both uni,
HOWEVER!
i realise i saw something wrongly : i saw the word limit for NUS as 2000 words, but the actual fact is 2000 CHARACTERS !!!!

but thank God that sis was home today. just her coming home.
so with my sweetest voice i asked her to help me.
and my sis is raelly superb , from 3000 over characters she manage to help me squeeze to less than 2000 characters. =D
and she spent an hour to help me.
im so touched and happy! =D

i guess what i need from her is just quality time, which i believe is the root of my friction with her recently.
at least now we smiled =)


tmr is the dead line and there are supporting documents waiting to be send to the admission office.
plus the appraisal form.

ahyoi,so scary yet so exciting.
i guess the excitment comes from i really wonder where God will place me. =)

okie, im on a super high mood now because now is like 1 am plus plus and im here reporting to you that i need to sleep. goodnight!

hopefully i can hurry settle my uni stuffs and get back to work. i need to hurry catch up with my work!

P.S. i shall blog about my mission trip to thai soon~ =P

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."



On the altar,every single thing has to be surrendered.

my sms inbox has been rather full since yesterday, so i decided i shall post them to really thank you for all your words of encouragements and comforts... =)

You funny ah, say sorry for what! Yes, you're in God's hands don't worry.He sure has a plan for you!Just trust and seek Him:) besides,grades aren't the purposes y we're on earth.meet up soon soon k. I wanna send grace present. --- eunice

Hmm u ok? Any plans then?
All rite, will keep u in my prayers sis.May the Lord keep u and give u peace=) --- Zhongjie

Hey... no need say sorry to me...u feel ok can liao --- Enci

Why did u say sorry.. Hmm ok glad to hear tt u're fine(: hmm my line's always available if u need anyone to talk to ok --- Keren

take care ok? u need to find someone to talk to can find me.. --- Shuzkx

Oic. Don't have to be sry la. =) --- WeiEn

Yep.It's ok. Just stay positive and trust in Him. *hugs**smiles* =) --- Qingyu

:)its okay to be disappointed though..Take cares then..message if anything..---Yurong

Yep you're well and safe in God's hands no matter the tide.Don't worry there are still options open out there for you and me.Can i call you tonight when you're more settled or you are free to talk now? --- tricia

Trust in Him.Don't give up. :-) cu tomorrow. --- Dora

Ok...At least u have e courage to face up to reality...Haha..That's great... :-) ---Weiling

Ok...Trust that God is still very well in control of e situation...Continue 2 trust and depend on Him 4 e way ahead k... ---Bev

I didn't dare ask how you did!Heh.But i guess it's alright then if you are so optimistic:)take care, we'll meet soon!
Mm,keep your options open!:)Physio is a good route to take too, i have a contact in there if you need to talk.well done for passing gp!!! ---Leann

Dear Christa,may God's grace comfort u this time ya.Will keep you in prayer sister.Take care:-) --- Peiling

Wan Xian, must jiayou k Yuen Kay's here for you!Anything just give me a call.Still love you no matter wat you are always the best the most hardworking in my heart. --- Kay

Hey sister...Have a good cry today n stand strong 2mor onwards...For the Lord will bless u in watever u do if u continue to have faith in Him...He will provide ur future route...Jeremiah 33:3"'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"---Sze Ean

Hey, how're you feeling? R you ok? do you need to talk? ---weiying

Hey christa,glad that u r trusting God.Rest assure that God knows wats best.*hugs* ---michelle

hi christa! today's a bright n sunny day. Are u taking in the beauty n joy of creation..?=) i found this beautiful verse during QT."I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." will pray 4 u to haf wisdom in choosing course! --- chun long

Hey wanny,just want to encourage u that its alright, u tried ur best.If u need any advice regarding uni,feel free to call me k.God has a wonderful plans for your life,and this includes ur A level results, He always knows whats the best for you.Faith faith faith is what u need k :) --- Jojo

these sms are really sweet (that's why it's in pink!) and precious to me. Through all these love and concern i received from you guys, i know God really love me lots! that's why i have so many so many little angels around me...thankx for you guys who made a personal call to me too, it must have been scary to call...haha..=)

ok,i can clear lots of space from inbox now. =)

some issues that i have to face:
when expectations ( from myself and others) are not met...
values of the world VS values of God.
Glorifying God means......
steps of Faith.

today im supposed to lead bible study during Youth group. but im feeling quite lousy that i really don't feel like leading. But somehow God reminded me that i can't because im feeling lousy then anyhow teach or lower my standard abit?So i obeyed and after the eaching, i felt this joy in me that truly once again assured me that im serving a God that is faithful and He is a true almighty God. and im very much comforted.

Thank God whose love for me does not varies. =)

just had bible study on 1 timothy chapter 4.
the idea of Godliness is really very very hard to achieve.
just from the time i came home from bible study till now, i could already point out many ungodliness sides in me. =(
but Godliness is something that we as Christians must labour and strive towards.
It is a must!
Godliness is not something that is impossible to work towards because God has said in 2 Peter 1:3 "seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. "

urgh. i guess one key for myself is also to recongnise the value of Godliness.
If i do not see it , there's really no more in working towards it..............

suddenly there's question that pop up to me : am i really appreciative of what i have strive towards in the past few months? years?

when you felt that you are being loved,
don't just stop there.
Think further.
who is this source of love?

Remember Christ. =)

yippppeeee ! thank God that dad and mum allows me to go church mission trip to ChiangRai! =D

okieee, im really looking forward to 2 upcoming mission trips =D =D =D

**Right Attitude

I thank God because there are lots of people around me who loves Him lots too. =)

sherlyn said that gloria has influence me in a sense to smile more and have a happy face, haha..well, it's true to a certain extent that gloria has make me smile more often( cause she is so lame and causing me to be cranky! hahaha..=D) but i know the more important reason is cause of God' love and grace that He had choose to let me see many new things in His perspective... =)

while listening and sharing,this thing is always concluded in my mind that is :
all man has sinned and fall short of God's glory.
broken communications.
broken relationships.
broken hearts.

drawing back to the idea that only God can ...



Purpose.People.Principle.
Attitude.Skill.Knowledge.
Heart.Will.Mind.

my prayer for today is to ask God to help me come to a full understanding to what i have heard,what i have read and what i have seen.